Smells, people, pictures.....

“Nostalgia keeps dissolving the ironic narratives in which I have contained my past.”
-Mason Cooley, City Aphorisms, Twelfth Selection, New York (1993)

Smells….Pictures…..People.  All of these sentiments play a part in nostalgia.  Smelling fresh bread baking in the oven takes me back to my grandmother’s house and a great amount of joy comes over me and will instantly heighten my mood.  Looking at photo albums of baby pictures, no matter who they are, brings warm feelings of innocence and contentment.  I love running into friends that I haven’t seen in years and being able to reminisce about the past and funny stories that will always make us laugh.  For me, nostalgia invokes comfort and a way in which to remember the good times, and a desire to return to those moments.  There is a possibility that nostalgia could cause painful memories and feelings of regret.  Nostalgia, according to Wikipedia, could be synonymous with homesickness.  In reality, nostalgia could be encouraging to someone or have harmful affects on their present life.

In Kazuo Ishiguros novel, An Artist of the Floating World, the main character, Masuji Ono, goes back and forth in his narrative of positive and negative feelings of nostalgia.  He is a perfect example how fondly remembering the past can truly cause one to forget the present.  Throughout the novel, Ono is constantly recalling the past and the feelings that are caused by what has happened.  There is more about what happened to him than what is happening to him.  At the beginning of the novel, he seems to recall more feelings of nostalgia that cause him to be content and almost unaware of what’s around him.  He remembers an encounter with a past student that boosts his self-esteem even though he does feel awkward; I think that this memory is positive for Ono.  Shintaro says to Ono,
“I will be grateful to you for the remainder of my life…. We are greatly privileged to have a benefactor of such influence and generosity” (pg 20-12).  These sentiments from a student would definitely be a source of delight for him.  He continues to return to his past experiences and finds himself “wandering into rooms for no purpose” (pg 40).  It’s interesting how when our minds wander and remember our bodies tend to follow.  His daughter even says, “Father? Just moping around as usual, I expect” (pg 105). 

I think that the synonym of homesickness is appropriate.  Even though it seems to have a negative connotation, there is some amount of contentment in being homesick because you actually have a feeling of desire and a home to want.  The home could include your family or the people you love.  Becoming nostalgic is healthy, there’s nothing wrong with having a moment that brings you back to a happy time in your life, but when it takes you over and causes you to forget the present, I think it becomes dangerous.  Ono is definitely flirting with it becoming dangerous.  I found myself lost in remembrances and having those thoughts take over, but most of the time I am able to come back to ‘earth’ and realize that those are just memories.  They can help shape who I am, but cannot envelope me and bring me out of my current life.  Ono has almost lost track of what his existing life is offering.

Masuji Ono is confused with what he has done in his past and how it has shaped who he is today.  He is trapped between his art that he practiced, ukiyo-a, that was greatly praised and then his involvement with the ‘propaganda’ artwork that he seems to be proud of, yet regret as well.  During the war, he felt that his way of participating and communicating what he believed was right, was to use his talent in artwork.  He is constantly looking back on the ‘good-old times’ and what life was like before and isn’t sure about his place in the world now.  He even goes as far as trying to protect his reputation by making sure that others don’t know about what he was a part of.  He goes to an old colleague Matsuda, to be sure that he doesn’t leak any truth about the Migi-Hidari, the artist’s behinds the paintings. He warns, “I’d be extremely beholden to you if you’d answer any queries (about the past) which may come your way with delicacy” (pg 94).  He is worried that if what he has done will affect the negotiations for his daughters marriage.  In Ono’s case, these feelings of    nostalgia are distressing and the foundation of harmful feelings that create unhappiness.  Matsuda even comments on his outward change, “Ono, you look deathly pale “(pg95). 

It’s interesting how Ono can go from a state of pleasant nostalgia to an upsetting worry about the past.  I think that every person goes through this, though.  There are times when those smells will also be a source of sadness from heartache or a bad experience.  Nostalgia is a funny thing.  I think that Ono is a great person to study when curious about nostalgia because he is so affected by it.  He remembers a lot, yet also tries to forget a lot.  Mason Cooley had it right; the nostalgic pieces of our past that we keep thinking about are what make our narratives.