Paths Straight

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight” Proverbs 3:6.

I have been raised in a Christian home and have believed in God and have had a relationship with Jesus my whole life.  I was never forced or pressured to believe in what I do, it’s been a part of my life and I chose it.  This verse in Philippians is what I use when I am trying to make decisions in my life.  I will be the first to admit that I don’t always make the right choice and have experienced the consequences of my decisions, but I know that I believe in a forgiving God who is full of grace.  I know that not everyone believes in the same ideals that I have.  Jean Paul Sartre was the originator of the thought of existentialism, which states that humans lives are based on the freedom to make their own choices and what happens to them is all “in good faith.”  In a way I can understand the reasoning behind this philosophy, but I prefer to take it one step further and put my faith in a God who helps in my decision making, yet gives me free will as well.  I do agree that our decisions that we make shape who we are.  Everyone makes both good and bad decisions and I believe that how a person responds to their bad choices is what is most significant.  I believe that when a person is remorseful and asks for forgiveness, God responds to that.  We aren’t condemned for life when we make a bad choice.

In Kazou Ishiguro’s novel, An Artist of the Floating World, the main character Masuji Ono, makes decisions in his life that affect how he feels about himself, how others view him, but in then end he does realize that there’s nothing he can do about the past and to live life to its fullest.  Ono was an artist in Japan at the beginning of World War II who became a propaganda artist when he discovered what was happening in his country.   He left his job with an artist because he says, “I have learnt much in contemplating the world of pleasure…..But now I feel it is time for me to progress to other things….It is my belief in such troubled times as these, artists must learn to value something more tangible than pleasurable things…..I cannot remain forever an artist of the floating world” (pg 180).  Ono decides fighting for Japan’s nationalism is much more important to him than just painting.  I think that at the time he made this decision he had no idea that it would cause so much grief later on.  However, after the war, he was looked upon as a “traitor” and not well liked by most. 

Ono spends most of this novel looking back on the decisions that he made and we discover who he has become because of what has happened in his past.  Even though joining this society was a bad choice, Ono realizes it and acknowledges it.  “As far as I am concerned, I freely admit I made many mistakes. I accept that much of what I did was ultimately harmful to our nation..” (123). It makes such a difference that Ono actually does believe that what he did was wrong.  If he had been prideful, which at first I thought he would be, and go on with life not admitting his mistake, than I’d feel differently about him.  It shows a lot about a person when they are able to “own up” to their bad decisions; it’s not an easy thing to do.  “I must say I find it hard to understand how any man who values his self respect would wish for long to avoid responsibility for his past deeds; it may not be an easy thing…”(pg 124).  Even though Ono decided to use his artistic abilities for a cause that wasn’t viewed as politically correct at the time, he is able to confess that he was wrong and move on with his life.  He also says that “ it is surely no great shame in mistakes made in the best of faith” (pg 125).  When one doesn’t know any better or even think about the possible outcomes, how can you blame them?

At the end of the novel, Ono is with one of his friends who was also a part of the society and they are reminiscing about the past and the decisions they made.  “We at least acted on what we believed and did our utmost” (pg 200).  They made their choice based on what they thought at the time was right.  He goes on to say that it turned out that they were “just ordinary men” and it was “our misfortune…during such times” (pg 200).  Both of them go on and live life realizing that yes, they did make a bad decision.  Ono is finally able to have “that deep sense of triumph and satisfaction….a profound sense of happiness deriving from the conviction that one’s efforts have been justified; that the hard work undertaken, the doubts overcome, have all been worthwhile; that one has achieved something of real value and distinction” (pg 204).  Ono recognizes that he has lived a great life, bad decision and all, and can continue living happily.

Ono reaches a point that is hard to get to in life.  We all make bad decisions and live with the consequences of them, but admitting to them and forgiving yourself.  In my life, when I’ve made bad decisions asking for forgiveness from God is most important to me, but then finally forgiving myself is what takes the longest.   I am glad that Ono was able to get to this point and live his life to the fullest.  Bad decisions dont' mean that I'm doomed for life, it's just that when I came to a crossroad, I went one direction and I believe that God will make my "path straight."